Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Mandarin, Muthaf87ker - Do You Speak It?

In the mother of all ironies, the one boy in his class who could barely speak Mandarin let alone read or write it, ended up getting sent to China.
I’m talking about myself by the way.
While my Mandarin language skills have improved by leap and bounds in the past 2 years I have been sojourning in […]

A Letter To My Staff, Which They Will Never Read

Dear Team,
Many of you know deep down in your heart that I do care deep for each of you, and take a personal interest in your career. I know which of you have boyfriends and how many kids for those that are married. I even know which one of you is a lesbian (I’m cool […]

A list of things, I wished my staff knew about me (their boss)

A list of things, I wished my staff knew about me (their boss)

I don’t know everything. That job belongs to God. What I do is make sure you have the resources and information in order for you to do your job. I play chess for a living. You are a chess piece for now. And […]

Cheated, So You Delve Further Into The Rabbit Hole

Last night, I had to work until 10pm because a group of new employees wanted to resign. They claimed that they had been tricked into becoming our employees. They had signed up for a diploma course with a school, who promised to send them to my part of China for industrial training + studies. Instead, […]

No Rest For The Weary

Last night, the Gods made me go out drinking with them. Apparently another bunch of Gods from a nearby pantheon had came to visit, and another was needed to make up their numbers so various drinking games/matches could be carried out.
The amount of liquor consumed was truly frightening. By the time the night was over, […]

Chinese Driver From Hell

I usually engage a private driver to ferry me about town when I am in China. He’s at my beck and call day and night, which suits my purposes. This is a common practice in China, where foreigners usually hire the services of a private driver instead of a taxi because they have clean comfortable […]

There Is No Spoon Carrot

MaureenduLong
Apparently, I had entered some contests at work at work that I wasn’t even aware of. Note the use of the plural. This week, I came in second in some competition and was apparently one of the runner-ups for another one. Both paidoff in the form of vouchers - which means I will get to […]

Some Jokes Are Just Not Funny

A colleague of mine was telling us through gnashed teeth over a wonton noodle lunch about the divine wisdom of ye eldritch gods. Apparently her dept lost their head a year ago. Since then they’ve been surviving without a head but have been losing their admin staff on a regular basis. Their workload has increased, […]

Tricycle Nights

photo by Tomsch
Some days, you feel like a dark cloud hangs over your head and there’s a constant need to look over your shoulder. The only countermeasure for such dreary days is to have whiskey for dinner, preferably alone.
On days like this, I slip away to a Japanese bar near my office. It’s run […]

Protected: Burnt. Out. Me

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Your Email, I have not read it nor will I ever

I get an average of 10 email/min in the morning, 8 emails/min in the afternoon and 12 emails/min between 5-6pm.
Based on (1) I cannot possibily read all of them
Based on (2), that’s why I missed out your VERY URGENT ASAP request for action.
Based on (1), (2) and (3) if you had really needed a reply, […]

The Akward Dinner Party

I am very ill. You see, last night I attended a farewell party for a department that got outsourced. Yes, that’s right - the entire department got oursourced. So we (as in management) threw a farewell party for them at a swank hotel.
I did not want to go. The very notion of a farewell […]

BEGIN KNNCCB
My meeting got canceled. I spent most of last night and whole of this morning preparing for it with my team.
END KNNCCB
BEGIN KNNCCB
A 12.05pm, alarm sirens go off all along Shenton Way. People on the street stop and start looking around. My goons and I in the office start panicking thinking it’s a terrorist […]

Protected: Servant of the Empire

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Caleb 0 - 1 Judas
Just got my arse whipped by Judas.

She Will Be Loved

Download She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5
I was so pissed with Judas that I decided to go shopping with SD and Mandrake after work today. The 2 monkeys kept playing the song She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 on the way to Takashimaya. I think it’s one of those songs that grows on […]

Caleb 1 - 0 Hulk

Just now Judas came over and spouts crap so fragrant that even the lilies would wilt

Don’t Read This Unless You’re A Geek

What happens when a bio-cracker unleashes a plant virus on all the wheat in North America, and the genetic code to “Wheat 2.0″ is closed-source, patented code owned by a corporation? Should life be Open Source?

Protected: Insanity Ad Infinitum

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Good Grief

It’s 7pm. I’m having krackermeal biscuits with Milo for my dinner. I’ve been in meetings all day long. With no time for lunch, my face has gone a little numb - or was it the innane meetings?
Wont be going home anytime soon. Just too much shit to finish!