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I have decided to invent an imaginary female genital and append it to my physical perception of reality. You see, I have been feeling rather moody for unknown reasons and it bothers me that I cannot get to the root causes.
Therefore from this day onwards, I have decided to blame my emotional imbalances on my [...]
Why Only Young Girls Should Strip – Watch more Funny Videos
I made a list:
Wear a bow-tie
Look a salesperson in the eye and tell them to go f87k themselves without blinking
Shave my pubes without a second thought
Only have one Pringle, and then stop
Patiently wait in a car, reading a newspaper for an hour while she does whatever it is that women do
Speak to foreigners without unconsciously [...]
I had more time to think and came up with more items to add to the list
Beer
Getting an ass-rim (look it up, that’s what the intarwebs are for)
Birthdays
Salary bonuses!
Finding out that you are the magic pony!
So my ex-boss called me this morning
Him: WASSZUPPPP!!! What’s the time over there?
Me: It’s 10am in China.
Him: Itsch 5am over here.
Me: It’s 5am in Toronto?
Him: NOOOOO I’m IN PARRIISSSSS
Me: Kewl!
Him: I just called to say you’re a bastard
Me: Err…
Him: No you’re THE bastard. BWAHAHAHAHA.
Me: Are you ok?
Him: NOOO, I’m drunk.
Me: How many drink did you [...]
The Homowives of China
China has 20 million male homosexuals, of whom 80 per cent would marry a woman. These women are the ’homowives‘, and there are 16 million of them.
Cowboy Caleb In The New Paper On Blog Copycatting – I’m very pleased because they printed exactly what I said, word for word and also refered to me as “well known local blogger”. LOLZ.
I made a list:
Defying your mother
Lying to your spouse
Brazilian waxes if you don’t follow up regularly
Malaysia
All hangover cures after a night out
Arsenal FC
Microsoft operating systems
Organizing events via Facebook
Older woman, younger guy
Indian call centers
Christian churches
Women with fetishes
Mas Selamat
I made a list:
Women that act like everybody wants to sleep with them
Women that throw themself at you
Women that ignore your advances
Maybe they’re trying to help a horse suffering from chronic constipation.
Furong Jiejie now looking for hunky laowai boyfriend!
Aerosmith retrenches their lead signer – will the global ratfuck recession never cease to horrify us even for a single day?
Join Cowboy Caleb’s Brute Clan!!! – benefits include having your cancer cured.
(NSFW): Gay Adventures In Singapore HDB flat corridors and lifts. Mine eyes!! Damn you Lancerlord!!! Gross!!!!! (via email from Lancerlord)
Tony Blair tells the Pope: you’re wrong on homosexuality
I have discovered, the comedy treasure trove that is Yahoo Answers:
How long will my cat breath underwater?
Can I pull out my cat’s whiskers (They are so ugly and annoying)?
Are There Dwarf Cats?
How do you teach cats discipline cause our cats are immature?
Why are cats so obsessed with ice cubes?
Why do cats make bread or kneed [...]
I thought of this the other day.
The difference between a man and a woman in a shoe store is that the woman wouldn’t mind going home with all of the shoes regardless of if she wants them or not.
The man however,
(a) just wants to go home
(b) wouldn’t mind going home with any of the women [...]
Dear Lord Buddha,
While I may not believe in your existence, I thought it may be wise to cover all the bases in the event that reincarnation does out to be in fact, the way the universe works.
Hence, I petition you for your succor.
In my next life, I wish to return as an android – that [...]
In today’s homo news, it must be reported that I have switched from some Burberry eau de toilette with a name that escapes me because it was yet another present from my mom for Xmas/Birthday/Something to “Diamonds” by Emporio Armani instead.
The aforementioned weapon of mass fragrance was purchased on a Singapore Airlines flight as a [...]
Click on the button above multiple times, to make magic ponies magically appear together with rainbows.
This arrived in the mail from a reader who declined to be named:
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.
Friendship Between Men:
A man didn’t [...]
How messed up is this?
The dude who plays Dexter Morgan on the hit tv series Dexter, has married the lady who plays Debra Morgan.
Dexter and Morgan are brother and sister on the show.
Ewwww……
The debate about the war between Canon and Nikon has been settled by Adolf Hitler
Swallow my anger
Feast on frustration
Revenge is a dish best served cold
2 guys cause a disturbance at a Mamak shop when they try to order pork. Hilarity ensues.
There is a secret message hidden in the Sesame Street theme song “Sunny Days”, when you play it back wards.
Dave Chappelle tells you why Sesame Street teaches kids bad things, you just didn’t realize it.
Sesame Street Drug Bust. Hilarious. Bert and Earnie are cyclops.
Elmo and Sunny (that skank from WWE) get it on.
Singapore Miss Maxim Calista ‘Gold Bikini’ Goh – Massive fail. No wonder Maxim is ceasing its publications soon according to the thread…
DIFFERENT PERSON
Update: Apparently the photos on her facebook, blog and Gridgirls are amazingly good… the Maxim photoshoot was pretty screwed up.
[Star Wars was made circa 1978, it is ancient]
So yesterday, I discovered that one of the tv channels in my hotel is showing Japanese soft-pron movies all day long.
I had lunch with the hotel GM, so I casually mentioned it during which this conversation occured.
Did you know that your hotel in-house tv channel is showing [...]
For years, I have suffered in awful silence. While others had their Frappucino’s with cream – I had to go without. My coffee is always black, devoid of any dairy produce. At fabulous dinners, I avoid the fine cheeses like the plague. After I have pizza (which definitely has cheese), I always always always have [...]
My ex-boss and mentor sent this hilarious piece to me last night. I know some of you may have seen it before, but others have not.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is:
1) Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to [...]
This conversation actually happened last evening with an England-challenged person – do you get it?
By the way, I poisoned the food
We both ate the food, so both of us will die then?
No, only you
Why only me?
Because I’ve taken the anti…anti…antibiotic!
The antibiotic?!!
Yes, and since you don’t have any antibiotic, you’re a goner.
HAHHAHAHAHAHAH
What’s so funny? The poison [...]
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