Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Cowboy Caleb’s Survivor Guide To Valentine’s Day

There is no rocket science to Valentine’s Day. Allow me to help all you guys out there to make sure you get at least to see a nipple by the end of Valentine’s Day.

Rule 1: Book a nice restaurant
Nice means it’s dimly-lit, has excellent service and everything on the menu has some funny french name (chicks lurve French names). If you procrastinated, then please remedy the situation by cooking for her.

Rule 2: Roses, Motherf87ker, Roses
Buy roses. Yes, I know they cost a bomb but you want to be sucking on some teat right? The more roses, the better.

Rule 3: Buy a gift
Diamonds will usually get their panties off. For those of you who can’t afford a solitaire diamond, get silver or something.

Rule 4: After dinner, go to a nice club with liquor
Alcohol makes women horny. You didn’t know? Red wines and champagne are highly recommended.

Rule 5: Make your move as soon as possible
You don’t have all night. Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday this year. So most women have to go to work the next day. The moment she looks even slightly interested, give her a shiatsu massage or something.

have lotsa fun! i see you’re trying to get ’some’. hur hur hur.

if have to go through all this shit trouble juz to see a teat, i doubt that she was even the least interested in the first place.

so lame ley ur guide

rule 1-3 don’t work unless the girl is a needy/greedy biatch. Rule 4 sounds fun but see 5, no time to go clubbing on a Thursday or get smashed. I recommend going straight to the 5 with minimum of 1-4. It’s Valentine’s Day, so the girls also wanna get laid.It is not abbreviated to VD for nothing.

arlo arlo arlo! you made women sound very easy hor?

you got your wife with this tactic huh?

so lame lor you!

=)

Wow… you obviously haven’t been laid in a long time. “give her a shiatzu massage… ‘or something’” OR something… What something is that… is that the I’m going to buy my way into your panties I heard? She’s not a prostitute… geez see her as a person of some WORTH then mabey you’ll get some. Oh wait, YOU yourself have to be a person with any actual value. You are part of the teeming masses that DON’T get laid, because you keep doing the same crap that doesn’t work. I only did this as a wakeup call… that hopefully you get something out of it. But you probably will defend this ‘advice’ that you probably learned from lifetime lol.

aneki>>exactly. very good guide for getting golddiggers not a gf/wife material.

so funny that someone who’s not smooth with the ladies wanna give love/laid advice. hahaha

Utter rubbish lor. I will FREAK OUT if he had bought me roses. They are FREAKING expensive and totally stoopid. In any case, I brought him out for dinner. :)

WOW. THAT WAS SO SILLY PLUS INSULTING…… U TREAT YR GF AS PROS? GO FIND PROS ..