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My Current Guide To Having A Modestly Successful Life v1.2
This is version 1.2 of My Current Guide To Having A Modestly Successful Life, updated for 2008.
New items are at the bottom of the list:
- Write your goals down. Each goal has to have a deadline. Stick it up someplace where you will see it every day. Like that spot of ceiling directly above your head.
- When faced with 2 life-altering decisions, always choose the one that seems more difficult.
- Always dress the part. Invest in a good suits. Buy good shoes. Read f87king Esquire magazine if you haven’t a clue. Dress for what you want to become if you want to make it happen.
- Learn to invest your own money. Never trust an insurance agent. Never trust a banker.
- Never follow the wisdom of the crowds. When people are selling their property, you should be buying. When everybody starts to buy, you should be selling.
- Real friends tell you things you don’t want to hear - the truth. Remember this before you slam the phone down in anger.
- Read the newspapers. Everyday.
- Learn to gamble a bit. Not only in the lottery. But also in your daily doings.
- If your boss doesn’t like you,
resign. Find a way to make him resign or get fired. - Integrity is great. But money is even better.
- Study hard you fucking idiot.
- Behave like a leader to those people you want to be in charge of one day. So that you will be.
- Make your leaders behave like leaders when they expected to be. Everybody needs to be reminded. They will thank you for it.
- If you have many enemies and are doing well, you’re probably on the right track.
- If you have no enemies, and your life is stagnant - something must be wrong.
- Stingy people should be avoided like the plague. Don’t be stingy.
- If you’re a guy, do guy things (car worship, football watching, babe ogling). Don’t be gay.
- Find a job that makes money. Money does buy happiness in the form of plasma televisions.
- There’s no such thing as an unhappy doctor. Consider this a career option.
- Laziness is like leprosy. Snap out of it.
- If you go drinking with folk, make sure you pay slightly more than your fair share to be viewed as a good old boy.
- Buy an expensive and good cologne. Stay away from that Calvin Klein androgynous bullshit.
- Travel a lot. It opens up your mind and alters your perception of people and the world in general. You’ll be a lot more mature than your peers who haven’t been to India.
- Confident and Funny vs Rich and Boring. Confident and Funny will get you laid, but it’s Rich and Boring that gets to breed with supermodels.
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Buy a good pen, and keep it on your person at all times (in your shirt pocket, in your coat, in your jeans). You never know when you’ll need to make an impression. I use a Mont Blanc.
- Buy the best car you can afford (installments + insurance + road tax + gas) because apart from a woman, this will be your biggest indulgence. Don’t settle for some crap car you will resent paying for each month. Make sure you enjoy driving the f87k out of your car every day. A well driven car is better than a blowjob.
- It’s ok to envy and admire the dude with the Armani suit and the BMW convertible. He’s going to work for you one day, right?
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