Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

What I Want For Christmas by Cowboy Caleb aged 29 and 1/2

Dear Santa,

I come before you a broken and defeated man, and in my anguish and despaid, I plead for your succor. My list of requests for this year’s Chrismas is not unreasonable compared to my list when I was 26 years old, and fully reflects my growing maturity as an adult in this verdant wicked selfish world we live in.

Please grant my wishes, otherwise screw you.

1. The Global economy to remain stable if not strong no matter how badly those moronic Americans screw up.
2. Keep most of my hair for another decade
3. My spare tyre around the waist to magically disappear when I wake up on Christmas morning
4. Nobody from my management to resign in the next 6 months
5. Mandrake to develop some disease that results in a slow and painful end.

Thanks. (v) renders the rest invalid..

You forgot to ask for your gonorrhea to be magically removed too. :)

rach>> on top of the herpes he ald got, i think it’s hard work for old santa