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Why Your Worst Friend Is Important Down The Road
Once upon a time in 1996, I met an ugly bastard named Mandrake on the first day of school. He was rude, obnoxious, lacked social graces and had body odour. Almost every class I attended or project I got assigned to seemed to include him as well. To add to my misery, Mandrake was also older and knew much more about the course than I did - so I had to defer to him in most matters.
Over the course of several years, we had arguments over a lot of silly things. Once when we went on holiday, we came to fists over which channel to watch - he won because he’s a lot larger than I am. After we graduated and got jobs, somehow we still moved in the same circles and saw each other on a regular basis.
11 years later in 2007, Mandrake and I are still friends. I’d trust him with my life. In fact, I trust him enough to transfer several thousands of dollars for ’safekeeping’ into his bank account on a regular basis. And I know he trusts me in return. Together, we founded a community on www.liquidblade.com (hosting non-profit orgs and free blogs), kept it going and even created something called a Cowboy Bar.
Sure I had a lot of friends I liked better in the past. People came and went but Mandrake remained. Most of the friends that I cliqued with previously are now gone from my life.
Here’s what I think happened with Mandrake and myself.
- I dislike Mandrake because he mirrors the parts of my personality that I don’t like. In short, both he and I have a lot in common when it comes to bad habits.
- Because I disliked Mandrake, my expectations for him as a friend dropped to below zero. When that happened, nothing he did ever disappointed me.
- On the flipside, whenever Mandrake did anything correct, I saw that as a big win for him. For an example, the stubborn SOB never apologizes. But when he finally mumbled out an appology one day, I saw that as something great.
- Whenever he screwed up big-time(plural), I was there for him because I knew deep down in my heart that I could have made the same mistake. And vice-versa.
- Over 8 years, we’ve had so many disagreements, fights and name-calling sessions that there is nothing we can do to each other that can really hurt anymore.
- Despite all the loathing, he admires certain qualities in me that he lacks. As do I in him.
Friends are like a pair of shoes. Usually the stiff pair that hurts your toes in the beginning, becomes the most comfortable shoes you own once it ’seasons’ to the shape of your feet.
So I guess the moral of the story is this. Just because there’s somebody in your current group that you don’t like as much as the rest of the gang, that doesn’t mean you should write them off. That person could turn out to be a life-long buddy.
P.S: Mandrake no longer has body odour. Now he has gout.
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