Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Father Time Creeps Like A Oil Slick

My parents are getting old. I never really noticed it, but they are. It’s like they suddenly aged while I wasn’t looking. My dad now has high cholestrol and gout. My mom walks like an old woman and now suffers from Mineiri’s Diesese which causes her to suffer from Vertigo from time to time.

They call me all the time now. It’s not like I’ve ever really lived with them (I moved out at age 14). But these days, it’s like they want me to be around more and more.

The guilt is unbearable especially since these days I am hardly around so when I am, I try to divide whatever little time I have between my wife, friends and car.

On Sunday (which was yesterday), I brought them out shopping. We went to CK Tang where my mom bought some new clothes, shoes and my dad got a shirt. Later we went to the supermarket to get my dad some smoked turkey breast meat (for sandwiches) because he can’t take red meat anymore and is a loss at what to eat these days.

I think they really enjoyed themselves and hadn’t had so much fun in a long time. Sometime last month, I brought my parents to look at this new house. 6 bedrooms, enough space to park 4 cars and a garden in the middle of the living room. The idea was for all of us to live together instead of seperately like we do now because they really are starting to deteriorate physically.

But with the economy doing another nosedive (or so it seems), I don’t think I want to commit to another huge loan.

Being the eldest son really is a heavy responsibility.

likewise…..

let’s shake hands.

but when u plan to buy a new place, must make sure not too many staircases etc….

me getting a headache too

same/similar situation here.. only mine 10X worse than yours.

ya i’m the eldest too, sometimes the burden is just unbearable…

but the sun rises everyday, life goes on…

I doubt my elder brother will feel that way. I am the youngest in the family but I have to shoulder more responsibilities than him.

Is time to produce a baby for your parents. They need joys, where baby will bring them unbelievable joy.

Do your part for them when you still can. I know what you mean by not commiting to another loan, it’s not about being eldest son or anything - it’s responsibility I guess. That being said, I wished I could do more for my mama.

It’s tough watching your parents grow old. The role reversal (from a child to being a parent to one’s parents) is never an easy transition to make. And of course the eldest will always shoulder the biggest burden.

But remember, you’re lucky in that you can watch them grow old - some of us have to live the guilt of never having been able to provide for their parents in their old age (because they have passed on prematurely).

Take heart.

It’s tough watching your parents grow old. The role reversal (from a child to being a parent to one’s parents) is never an easy transition to make. And of course the eldest will always shoulder the biggest burden.

But remember, you’re lucky in that you can watch them grow old - some of us have to live the guilt of never having been able to provide for their parents in their old age (because they have passed on prematurely).

Take heart.

think of those who are the only son, or child.

*wails*

That’s a nice idea, all the family together in one house. These days, people don’t seem to spend enough time with each other and then suddenly one day, it’s too late and you can only look back.

Hopefully, you look back with fond memories and not regret.

I’m the youngest. My parents always say I am the most immature. I am the only one that did not leave credit card debts for them to pay or take SGD 5 digit figures as a semi loan. I opted out of college because I did not want my dad to be ridden with my debt. I wanted to work because I wanted independence.

And still.

I am the one that has to stay in Singapore and near them. When my brother does come back to Singapore, he doesn’t inform them. When my sister comes back to Singapore, she demands new furniture or/and royal status as a right. I am the one that has to stay. I’m not complaining but fuck does it get to me.

I was the one who did not get to go overseas to study because “if I was a bird they would break my wings”.

I told my mum that day while she was boasting that my sister paid for a lot of new stuff in the house that that sibling is also the one that left behind SGD5k worth of credit card bills.

I love my parents, but the burden, brother, I understand that burden. I want to be able to give my parents enough money for them to tell their friends “look, I’m working only because I want to” and not just smile as their friends boast. I want to be able to get a house for all of us to stay together with enough space so we won’t start killing each other. And I want to be able to get a proper computer for my father at home.

And they are getting old, so old.