Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

On Phones

When I was a kid, we didn’t have a phone at home. I swear it’s true. When we needed to make a phonecall, we’d pop into our next door neighbour’s house and borrow her phone. After we were done, we would leave a 20 cent coin on the table, next to the phone.

As a result, I have never really felt any festish for phones. My wife has been nagging me about my crap mobile phone - apparently it’s a disgrace to both of us. She has been pestering me to go buy a new phone, preferbaly one of those smart PDA phones which cost an arm and a leg.

I do not make many phone calls or receive many. My mobile number is a secret. The number of people I call can be counted with the toes of my feet. So why the hell would I need a new phone for? Some clever blokes think that men like to get new mobile phones to show off with because it’s an extension of their penis. Well, I am already very very well endowed where it matters so maybe that is why I do not really need a phone to make my wang look longer.

Supposingly I do get a PDA phone, I would probably only use it for scheduling, reading ebooks and making phonecalls. I have absolutely no desire to listen to mp3s on any other device apart from an iPod or perhaps an iRiver device (the sound quality is amazing). Nor do I wish to write emails or blog using a tiny keypad or stylus. The only other thing I can think of would probably be to use it as a universal remote control and wreck havoc on the tv sets in shopping malls or government offices.

So the plane is now to hold out as long as possible and drive my wife insane to the point where she will use her own money to buy a new phone for me.

I’m so clever, it’s scary.

see. there’s a reason why you’re zeus.

i didnt know that you were bitchy haha

YOU VERY EVIL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

If I were your wife… I’ll flush your phone down the toilet. :D

TSK TSK TSK. You slarrrrt.