Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Wish You Were Here

ngader

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears, wish you were here

- Pink Floyd

Dear Sondra aka La Idler,

How is the weather in heaven? I imagine you must be having quite a time over there on the other side. Are there unlimited dvd’s and cd’s to entertain yourself with all day? Do they serve jelly blancmange, mee goreng and coffee?

Could you tell Jesus that I’m sorry for being such an asshat? Today over dinner, I explained to Tym & Terz how Onan was not struck down by God for spilling his seed, but rather keeled over after his overly excited weak heart gave up after he had sex with his brother’s widow. Tell the big J that I try my best ok?

I’m getting married next month. It really makes me sad that you will not be there to attend it. I’m really under a lot of stress because of the wedding. A lot of people can’t make it because it’s being held in Malaysia and they don’t want to travel. Also the preparations are really frustrating, with problems with the folk at home.

I almost called you out for lunch to tell you about my problems today, until I remembered that you were already on permanent vacation.

With you gone, a lot of the stranger posts are not being published on Tomorrow.sg because our diversity is now diminished. This irritates me. You and I were usually on the same wavelength so I could usually count on you voting for the eclectic contributions. It’s strange that after working with you on a daily basis for the longest time, I still expect your input on contributions. But since you’ve vacated your seat, I’m proposing to the team for us to get somebody to fill it - in fact I have several names in mind, and all of them would probably meet with your approval.

The most hilarious thing just happened! Ben came up with this idea of printing your blog out as a book for your family and asking for donations to keep your blog alive. When this was announced on Tomorrow.sg, people were like totally outraged that we would reveal your online identity, post your photos online, tell your family and rape your privacy in general. Haha. They were like very vocal leh!!!

I’m not too sure how many of those people against this idea actually knew you. But the picture they paint of you is nothing like what I knew you were like. You always knew that the internet was a public place, and that blogs are for everybody to read. Oh yeah, we posted your photo online as well so people could put a face to your La Idler persona. I knew you wouldn’t mind because after all you were increasingly frequently meeting so many bloggers in real-life. Hey, one of the loudest critics is that weird dude you were telling me about sometime back. What a riot!

But don’t get mad at them ok, they do what they must because they miss you too. Just like us.

I told the Cowboy Barflies today that in case I die, they were to inform my family about who I was, what I stood for and why I did what I did. A family has a right to know. We both didn’t want our families to know about our blogging, but of course we both realized that really wasn’t true - we want them to know but just not as yet.

Probably the only people who might not want their families to know, even after they pass from this world, are those who maintained a daily journal of self-deceit and lies.

Anyway brown or tinkertailor told your family already and they are very glad to be able to learn more about you through your blog in the form of a book. It will be a lot easier for your mother to read a book instead of trying to peer at a monitor. Your blog is full of your bubbly, funny and witty personality and will make your family to proud of you. In a way, by finally revealing your blog to them at this point of time, you’ve kinda like saved the best for last.

I miss you. Wish you were here. See you on the Last Day, yeah?

Lots of Love,
C. Caleb

It’s what you shown when you are going through tough time that defines who you are.
And cowboy, you are an excellent human being, coming from someone who only read your blogs. Sleep early now.

Well, thats life, getting married is always stressful. Hang in there now….

[…] boo-boo on the editorial’s part? UPDATE 2: This quote takes the cake… “of self-deceit and lies” (Ok, I’m not posting an […]

“self-deceit and lies”
i hear you, Zeus. :D

“one of the loudest critics is that weird dude you were telling me about sometime back”

I don’t think this remark u made was appropriate. WHy spoil her frenship with her fren/acquintance now that she is gone? I am sure she never meant for him to know that she thot he was weird (if she really did say so).

Let sleeping dogs lie

Your entry makes me want to cry..

i read this in office
and i found tears in my eyes
i had to leave my desk for the washroom
to compose myself

Sondra was a lucky gal
to have had a friend like you
a soulmate so rare
it is preciously touching

hang in there Cowboy …
for it is the fond memories
that keep us going ………

I hope you haven’t mail out this letter to her. Perhaps it would be better for her not to know about all the arguement happening in tomorrow.sg.

It is rather sad going thru all the flaming comments. Sometimes, I wonder if these people are really fighting for La Idler or just merely using this as an excuse for flamewar.

If they really spare a tot for her, they would know that she won’t be happy if a flamewar was started because of her.

I hope all these would end….

I really hope there is a better place out there. A skeptic like me will only want to say to Sondra, “At least you are away from the rat race now… Enjoy your long vacation!”

We mourn the parted…
we cherish those around….

Hang in there, dude….

Dude, that is a very touching letter.

I developed goosebumps reading it.

Well, farewell to Sondra. We could have known her better.

http://tiradeagainsthumanity.blogspot.com/2005/12/of-real-friends-and-online.html

*hugs*

Held
By Natalie Grant (Awaken)
(http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/wma-pop-up/-/B0007PALDE001009/002-3060978-9446458)

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

i hug you in a strictly platonic, masculine way.

Such a touching entry
*hugz*

cowboy, u r such a wuss sometimes.

but it’s all good. really erm.. emo.

*sob*

While reading your entry, the memories of Sondra flashes through my mind. Those fun times we had together. Knowing her for more than a decade, it does feels weird without her presence (feels as if losing a limb), as she was so part of my life. Like yourself, I almost wanted to ask her out, but remembered that she’s no longer around.

It really saddened me, reading those comments they made. I’m sure Sondra in heaven wouldn’t want to see the flame war because of her.

At least I’m happy that her family will be able to know another side of her by publishing her blog into a book.