Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

The Brutal Truth

Have you evar been in a situation where some woman will ask you something and you have to answer the exact opposite of what’s on your mind? Well of course you have – but they don’t know. They have no idea what’s going through our heads – the brutal and horrible truth.

• Yes, you do look fat in that dress
• That’s right, those shoes do not match the skirt in the least
• Yes, plastic surgery may be the way to go
• You’re so skinny, even the Ethopians would be ashamed
• Yes, you are a slut
• Nope, I don’t think it’s my fault – it’s yours
• The reason why you are always depressed is because you’re crazy
• You complain so much they might want to start a new olympic category for it
• Yes, sometimes I do wish you had bigger tits.
• Yeah you should buy that pair of shoes. It compensates for your ugly soul.
• No, I do not want to enter the lingerie section.
• I’m sorry, I was never able to read your mind from the start.
• I don’t hate your friends, I detest them.
• I need to be friends with your gay male friend like I need nose cancer.
• I’m watching football, therefore I’m not inclined to talk about issues.
• I really don’t care if the toilet seat is up or down. Really.
• Yes, those are wrinkles and eyebags.

after reading this, I decided I’m not going to ask any guys questions related to the aforementioned topics. Evar.. I mean, ever.