Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

You Will Deny Me Thrice

photo by Tread

I am in fact, a terrible friend.

Sometimes I think it’s due to the fact that I do not really need people around me. Therefore, I tend to not treasure friendship. Ok, maybe that’s harsh - I tend to take friendship for granted. If a person is not around then it’s like out of sight, out of mind. There is no carefully cultivated habit of following up with friends whom I haven’t seen in a long time. If they do turn up one day, I behave as if they had never left.

As for friends around me, I have this incredible asshat habit of abusing them. I do not reply to sms’s, I make them light my cigarettes and other misc crap that would shock you. Why do I do it? I have no idea - maybe because I can. Or perhaps because I want to see how far I can take it before they snap. It’s not that I want to drive them away or anything, I just do it automatically. Luckily I still have a lot of friends despite my faults.

However, I am a loyal friend. If a friend commits some awful crime, I would offer him shelter, lie on his behalf and fight his enemies to buy him time to escape. It doesn’t matter if he’s guilty or not. That’s really secondary to the fact that he is my friend.

The only thing I cannot forgive is a Judas (Hey, I’m Zeus, not Jesus). Recently a Judas reappeared in my life and tried to reestablish communication with the mothership. I thought it was strange enough that Judas would reappear, but to try and speak with me without offering an explanation or so much as an apology for his behavior is simply astonishing. I gave Judas the silent treatment, ignoring the fact that he existed at all. His efforts rebuffed, Judas decided that he would stab me in the back one more time with more toxic words although it didn’t hurt as much because this time it didn’t come from somebody I regarded as a friend.

So I am sad that Judas is now incommunicado forevar and evar. But some friends are really too emotionally expensive to maintain. I think both of us need to move on. People grow. But sometimes they grow apart.

Farewell Judas. May you find what you were looking for.

nah. need not feel bad. some people click, some just don’t. i’m sure that when you lose 1 friend, you will gain 5 more.

How about asking him what happened?

Excellent post.. im guilty of taking friends for granted too. usually i wld choose to forgive thOse assheads, eat the dead cat. knOw why? cos my weakness is being too soft hearted. damn!

Well it always happens.. I rather have a few good friends then having too many friends that drain you emotionally…

By the way just to let you know.. my office just banned the cowboybar and the reason is that its pornography.. Looks like the bar is getting femes