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An Imaginary Conversation Between Me And An Imagined Imaginary Cup Of Coffee
Today, I took a super long bus ride to work instead of commuting via train. While freezing my ass off inside the virtually empty bus, I found myself having an imaginary conversation inside my head with an imaginary imagined cup of coffee (Starbucks), who perched himself on the seat beside me.
Coffee: I just want you to know that you’re not going crazy.
Me: Well, that’s a relief. I’m going to ignore you now.
Coffee: I am the manifestation of your desire for a better life then this drudegry of commuting to a souless job each day.
Me: How about my dependance on Caffeine?
Coffee: That as well. If it makes you feel better, I’m decaf.
Me: Nigger please. What kind of abomination of nature are you, decaf faggot cracker!?
Coffee: Listen to me, it’s very important. Today somebody will make you very angry. You must control your anger.
Me: Mmmmm… the smoke swirls out of you and smells…so…good
Coffee: Focus, asshat!
Me: I’m sorry, I’m not about to have a frigging conversation with a cup of coffee that I cooked up in my head. Once I do that, there’s no turning back.
Coffee: I know today’s 4D results!
Me: No you don’t. From this day going forward, I will be switching to Japanese green tea.
Coffee: Look at me! I have creamy froth, mixed with chocolate and vanilla powder wheeeeeee…
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