Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

I’m Sorry But Star Wars Eps 3 Does Suck

Last night I went for tea with Lonely Driver. We were talking about movies when I sheepishly remarked that Star Wars Eps 3 sucked ass and to my surprise he agreed. We both think Star Wars is a well executed B-movie. The reason why I havent mentioned this before is because there are a lot of fanatical Star Wars fans out there and I don’t wanna be torn apart by them.

main reasons why we think Star Wars sucked.

1. The horrible script.
2. That gay lizard Obi-Wan rides to chase after General_Grievous
3. The fact that General_Grievous looks like Johnny Five
4. In eps 2, Obi-Wan + Annakin cannot defeat Dooku. Then in the opening sequence of eps 3, Obi-wan gets his butt kicked by Dooku again but Annakin single-handedly defeats Dooku. But later, despite his obviously superior skills and new dark force powers, Annakin gets his legs chopped off by Obi-Wan. Ridiculous.

In other news, Obi-wan is a f87king male chauvanist pig.

1. George Lucas is not known for his Oscar-winning screenplays, it’s true.

2. The lizard is lame, I agree.

3. You can learn to draw General Grevious here!

http://www.starwars.com/kids/activity/draw/f20050531/

4. In Ep 3, Anakin himself tells Dooku that his Jedi skillz are now twice as good as the last time they met. That is why he could beat Dooku this time.

5. Later when he meets Obi-wan, he loses because Obi-wan is on high ground. Even Obi-wan warns him not to try.

why on high ground always win?
like that yoda would surely lose all the time.

4) That’s because Obi-wan knows the move. He invented it in EP 1, caught Darth Maul completely by surprise, and cut him in half. That’s why he warns Anakin not to try it, which leads to…

4.1) Anakin decides to call his bluff, because he’s lost his mind, impulsive, and arrogant… He could have backed off, and switched strategy etc. But the Dark Side clouds his judgement…

4.2) And so, Obi-wan is able to cut his legs off. If you’ve played war games like Rome:TW, higher ground is a great strategic advantage. Also, in this case, ‘higher ground’ can mean the metaphorical ‘higher moral ground’.

I find this to be a great scene. Until the very last moment, and even after cutting his legs off, Obi-wan doesn’t give up on his student…

Contrast this with Yoda, who knows he’s lost the high ground, and withdraws to fight another day! That’s why Yoda rules hahaa

well yah, i’m not really a film critique but one sure thing, anakin is hot hot hot.

Even George Lucas made a blooper in his own plot. Padme is not supposed to die, cos in episode 6 Leia said thatLeia died when she was very young o.0

But come on, let’s give it to them. We watched the movie just for all the battle scenes, didn’t we =P

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=150

no need to watch episode III already

Me and my wife almost doze off in the first half hour. After that it was quite ok but it does not have the other Star Wars movie attraction the acting was yucks.

Ya Padme was not supposed to die. Leia said, she can remember her a little… o_O
Wonder if she’s referring to her foster mother?

errr… Leie sees dead people!!!