Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Judas, Here There And Everywhere

Today, my tea lady informed me that my morning noodles would henceforth cost 10 cents more due to the rising cost of doing business. This served as a trigger to switch my mood into a black cloud of despair. It wasn’t so much the friggin noodles, but rather a combination of events lately that led up to this day.

As I grow older, I learn more and more about the ugliness of the human soul. I may say out loud that some dude is a monkeyfart and deserves to have his ass kicked 3 ways to China. But I never really mean it. You can’t really judge a person because you don’t know what kind of situation he may be in, or what kind of upbringing he had or if he was dropped on his head as a kid. So many factors affect the way a person is.

Ultimately, people disappoint. Prepare yourself for the eventual stab in the back. You can help, nurture and love a person, but that person will almost always turn out to be your very own personal Judas. Perhaps people hate the fact that they owe you bigtime or have to depend on you? Or maybe you serve as a reminder of a past they wish to forget. This is especially evident in adults who abandon their parents after a lifetime of dependance.

I read somewhere: “Seek freedom, and become a captive of your desires; Seek discipline and find your liberty.” There are so many of us looking for our freedom. Sometimes I wonder, what on earth are we running from? While you’re running, why not think about what you’re leaving behind - both the people and the things that once mattered so much. Just stop and think about it.

I like it when you write like this.

I learned as I grow older that indeed people are disappointing. Just the people I work with whose sole hobby is to talk behind other people’s backs are living examples.

Then I also learned that if I keep on dwelling with these people, I only hurt myself in the end. Hence, I grew apathetic. I just don’t care anymore.

I think I’m at the in-between phrase, at the crossroad of past and present. I find it difficult to tell myself, “have faith in people”. I think time has craved many of us into cynical creatures.

mt > there is no hope for the human race…

bohemianlisa > When we try to conceal our innermost drives, our entire being screams betrayal.

the worst thing is not to have someone disappoint you, because when others disappoint you, you know that you can always count on yourself.

the worst thing is when you have tried to fucking hard for something and you end up disappointing yourself.

i like this post….