Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

The Day Is Over

I’m in my office. It’s raining bats and frogs outside so I can’t leave yet. I have to go and buy a new pair of shoes because I’m supposed to play football tomorrow after work but I left my shoes back at my parent’s place. In addition, there is a ton of wurk left to do.

But my mind has gone. It’s been a long day. I lack the motivation and naiveity of a young worker to do more on the same salary. All I want to do really, is to go home, have a hot shower and curl up in bed with a measure of black label next to me and a book to read. Oh and don’t forget I really do need some soft sad music to play in the background while I imbibe at my pleasures.

It’s strange but I really do prefer drinking alone. For most folk, drinking is some kind of team sport. But I associate drinking with emotions like disappointment, frustration and sadness. So when I drink, it’s usually just me swirling the liquid in the glass watching the light bounce off it.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t really want to have people around me. It’s not a question of who is going to disappoint you, but rather when they are going to disappoint you. Have you ever felt like that? Like you’re all alone? Relationships are spun out of gossamer threads and can be torn apart as easily as they were put together. Perhaps people seek other people out, to prove that they are not alone? And maybe work is proof to society that you do exist?

Part of being an adult, is discovering you really do exist and that you can be hurt.

I’ve noticed that people who live away from their families are prone to bouts of melancholy. The afterhours and weekends are the worst. This gets progressively more horrid the older you get, because your friends have their own families and friends so they can’t spend much time with you anymore. So you find yourself drifting into strange bars, walking down deserted streets alone and wandering along supermarket aisles.

Part of being an adult is discovering that you truly are in this game called life, and you’re all alone.

I read somewhere that there are two things that people cannot accept - age and failure. People just can’t seem to comprehend that one day they will age and die. And that their entire life has been composed of nothing but a series of spectacular failures.

Part of being an adult is accepting the fact that one day, you will die.

ah, a glimpse into the future…

I like this post. I spend most of my time alone too.

This is depressing.. My 26 yr old bro’s telling me the same things..

I have the same thought..

shit.. i just had a really lousdy day at work; 3 friends rejected my invite to go for “drown thy sorrow” drinking session; spent half an hour at cold storage alone, and now miserably sipping red wine in bed reading blogs…now you made me sadder than i already am…

I think a lot of bloggers prefer spending time alone. That’s why they blog and express themselves through writing instead of socializing with friends. Isn’t it?

The rain must be affecting my mood.

Rain or otherwise, a thought provoking post. Interesting.

Spectacular failures? Some peoples’ life have only consisted of little failures. They don’t dare to win/lose big, so they bet small.

Maybe as we grow older we just feel that the only person who can ever be there for oneself is thyself. This world life. One giant masquerade.

creepy….you’re in my head, or you’ve been following me at the supermarket. I really must look up occasionally.

I agree that most people can’t accept the fact that they will die one day.

“My name is Aneki and I also like to drink by myself”. Todays PDA (pathetic drinkers anonymous) confession.

Only when you are utterly comfortable with the company of oneself, will you find pleasure with others. *nods*

This sounds eeriely familiar to my life, esp the part abt drifting into strange places…

Some melancholy is part and parcel of self reflection. When else do we get to relax and read a good booK?

“Part of being an adult, is discovering you really do exist and that you can be hurt.”

so true. well-written. I know the supermarket aisles well myself.