Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Lucky I’m Not In Charge, Else You’ve Had It

There’s this silly joke on Tomorrow about Caleb For President of Singapore. I tell you if I were in charge you all will be in trouble because I am clinically insane. A list of changes I would implement is follows.

• Women will no longer be allowed to drive vehicles. To make up for this, they get to ride about in taxi’s for free.
• Paedophilism will be a crime punishable by castration, transfer to a US prison for 2 years and death by lethal injection.
• All children are to attend boarding schools. No more elite schools. All suffer alike.
• Girls will have to go for NS. Those who can fight can be commandos. Those who cannot can have non-combat roles.
• Having your third child means a free COE. Fourth child gets you an MPV and a COE . Fifth child gains you a free 4-room HDB flat.
• People who abandon their parents will be arrested and caned.
• People who abuse their maids will be pressed into gang labour to serve as maids for a period no less then 2 years.
• People who abuse their children will be caned, jailed and sterilized.
• Since there is no cure for being gay, the rights of gay couples will be recognized. But they still won’t be allowed to get married though.
• Abolish the tax-free status of religious organizations.
• Ban credit cards. Only debit cards will be allowed.
• All boys to be trained in car mechanics from primary school. No more excuses.
• All girls to learn how to cook from primary school. No more excuses.
• Couples who manage to stay married for 30 years receive letter of congratulation from the president and a studio apartment.
• Abortions to be made illegal. Punishable by permanent sterilization for the woman, man and doctor if caught.
• All males to be temporarily sterilized until such a time when they prove they have the earning power to support a family, afterwhich the sterilization process can be reversed so they can have children
• Old folk to be offered 300 dollars monthly allowance to spend at NTUC supermarkets in their dotage.

joking hor!

you are such a potential family man.

where to cast my vote?

Here is the scary thing right.. i actually think that some are damn cool - especially rule number 1.. think about it… it SUCKS to drive..(yes, I’m a woman) when I’m in rush, I have a personal chauffeur and I don’t have to worry about parking?! :P

Here is the scary thing right.. i actually think that some are damn cool - especially rule number 1.. think about it… it SUCKS to drive..(yes, I’m a woman) when I’m in rush, I have a personal chauffeur and I don’t have to worry about parking?! :P

Those are some pretty good rules. Haha.

Abortions to be made illegal. Punishable by permanent sterilization for the woman, man and doctor if caught.

I object to this rule. Some people might not want children. If they cannot abort, they’ll throw the foetus into a rubbish dump.

all males must make their girls happy.

No more excuses

hahaha

I like rule 1 too. free booking also?

eh not bad. I’ll vote for you.

But you’re not singaporean leh.

i want to know the ratio of women to cabs first.

fuzzy > yes, I am pro-family strong arm tactics martial law all the way

9 > first must donate by sending me a check so I can fund my campaign.

Hellsbel > Yeah, I was targeting women like you when I created that law

zenith > sure lah, I write one leh!

suspiciousbastard > you’re right! Murdering an infant child is now punishable by the gallows. Child is defined by any foetus above 0 days old.

echa > and all women must now have sex whenver requested by men. No more excuses like “I have a headache”

israphale > It’s free everything!

juicypout > soon…soon

ngader > if there is a man ahead of a woman in the taxi queue, he must let her pass first. That be the law.

I hear TAPS playing in the background………

Caleb for president!

you r very funny, really cheer me up. Thanks

lol. about boys learning to fix cars and girls learning to cook, dont u think it’s possible that there could be girls who’s interested in fixing cars (i know some) and boys interested in cooking (i know some too)?

of course im not objecting, since its damn cun for ur girlfriend to know how to cook. BUT, if she can also fix my car after that…wuiyoo! :D

still, i believe abortions should be a couples own choice. it shouldnt be made illegal.

Where’s the part about government subsidized porn? :(

after all the above impending changes and suggestions from your electors at large,

you’ll come to realise on the day of taking office that you, as the president of singapore, will only require to attend function and funeral and once a year charity show. hiak hiak

not bad what.
but hor, castration isn’t irreversible leh.
drugs don’t work that well also sometimes. :)

i meant reversible.
want to sleep liao.

pt no 9 not really true eh, there are stories of ex-gays also.

i wanna vote for u too.. damn

echa > and all women must now have sex whenver requested by men. No more excuses like “I have a headache”

This alone make me vote for u

[…] ales to setup honeypot traps for horny local paedos. As previously declared, if I am ever elected president, paedo’s get c […]