Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Can’t We All Try To Get Along?

In this long and boring post, I address the burgeoning past-time of blog-hating that seems to be gaining popularity.

The recent boom in the local blogging scene has seen the entry of many bloggers from different age groups. Strangely, 30something mothers, educated working professionals, university students and teenagers all seem to suffer from cold-hearted behavior. Is the chlorine in the water we drink causing stunted mental development?

I have witnessed the following acts which are extremely uncool:

1. Making snide remarks on blogs that do not belong to you
   Sure you’re entitled to your own opinions. But constantly posting personal attacks on another person’s blog is definitely a sure sign of immaturity. If you have a problem with that person, why not settle it via email?
2. Gathering your friends and simultaneously attacking another person’s blog
   Congratulations, you have not only demonstrated that you’re an immature mean person - you’re also a coward. Strength in numbers? I can only imagine what kind of childhood you had. Vicious, vicious, vicious
3. Writing long rants about how much another blogger sucks
   I have been asked via email several times to do this because a certain female blogger is apparently such a big popular bitch that she can only be slayed using the Cowboy Method (what ever the hell that is). Do people write articles in the hope that the subject of their hatred will commit blogicide?

Remember when you were a kid, and there used to be groups in school? Depending on which group you belonged to, life could either be very good or downright rotten. And then there would always be this ultra popular girl or guy who could either be very nice to you or hate your guts which would result in the rest of the kids behaving in the same manner towards you. Well the blogosphere is a very big playground and we’re all kids again running around in it.

Perhaps too much emphasis has been placed on blog traffic. Do you really think blog traffic is all important? You are not your blog. You’re supposed to have a life outside of your blog - stuff like going out with your friends, having meaningful relationships and experiencing the bitter realities of life. Most of the blogs I enjoy reading have very few readers. High traffic does not a good blog make.

One of the most vicious women in the blogosphere is extremely popular, has violated all 3 of the sins listed above and writes crap so puerile I cringe when I read it. I can only guess that the source of her popularity is bloggers (who fear to tread on her toes) sucking up to her via comment reciprocity. No, not Xiaxue. Somebody from the North, but we’re not playing the name game here.

So how do we stop this illness that seems to be spreading fast in our blogosphere? Well I think that:

1. If you don’t agree with somebody, state your case. Don’t say shite like “You look like a baboon’s arse, so I’m right and you’re wrong”. Intelligent arguments lead to constructive discussions and may culminate in life-long friendships.
2. If you have nothing nice to say, just shut your hole hold your peace.Have you ever caught mrbrown abusing his popularity? Does miyagi smash people he doesnt like to pieces with words?
3. Just because you dislike somebody, persuading others that he/she is an asshat is not the right thing to do. Stop reading their blogs. Find something else to channel your negative energy into, like pottery
4. And finally, do unto others what you would want others to do unto you. It’s all about giving respect to earn respect.

On a final note, we should feel sorry for people who go looking for blogs to hate. If that’s the sort of thing that gives them thrills, then I guess they lead sad and empty lives.

What do you think?

Damn… i do feel sorry for them.. but they make my blog popular… (not that it is anyway). Like the only reason why we have wars and sometimes peace is because of people like that… oh well… free your mind and your ass will follow.

I’ve come to realise that the blogosphere is just a reflection of society in real life. There will always be people who’ll slander others for no rhyme or reason. And just as hate exists in real life, it exists even more online, mainly because you’ve more freedom to vent your frustrations online than you do in real life.

We’ll all have to live with it and brush it off with a pinch of salt.

I don’t know why people value high traffic. I’d prefer to keep my blog more low key if I could.

Kids will always be kids.

Sigh

caleb:

i think this is one of your best blog entries to date. what you have said make sense,esp “you are not your blog” and “high traffic does not a good blog make”.

so good for you, caleb, for making these points clear.

jac

Lucky, no mention of 30something fathers. :)

The internet is a huge playground indeed. These things happen. Flaming sessions also occur in forums. We just have to ignore them.

Well it’s easy for me to ignore them. But for pioneer/passionate bloggers like yourself who had spent tremendous effort building a united blogosphere in this region, it is definitely heart-pain to see such acts.

So was this what the 3 of you were discussing at Heeren?

i add to what’s been said with an incident of my own :

I am approached by a concerned parent. Who, as the conversation progresses, I discover really has no inkling as to the nuances of the internet. and i find myself being charged with the sin of aiding and abetting this “waste of time”. apparently, I am responsible for the child’s internet use and the sites he/she goes to. Why? because mine is one of the blogs this kid reads.

stupidity it will always exist.

i just catalogue such stupid behaviour under the heading of “emotionally handicapped” so no point me getting angry with you.

Haiya… what is the reward of having traffic?

Just be true to yourself and stick to the 4 Cowboy rules.

Actually I don’t really see the point of trying to build a united community of bloggers. For many people, blogging is fun because:

a) You can tell the whole world about your lives, especially if nobody in real life wants to listen to you whine and bitch; and
b) You can write whatever the hell you want because it’s your space and screw everyone who hates you because you slag other people on your blog.

I think it’s futile to try to create a little cosmopolis of bloggers who are sugar and spice and everything nice. After all, variety is what makes the blogging world go round.

The bottomline is: If you don’t like ‘em, don’t read ‘em.

“Remember when you were a kid, and there used to be groups in school? Depending on which group you belonged to, life could either be very good or downright rotten.”

Or both. ;)

But what’s the point going into the /right/ group if at the end you have to put a mask all the time…

well, there are people for whom blog traffic is important because they earn ad revenue from it…

just one thing man…does a professional weblogger do like that?

NO

Ooo.. i am so dying to find out what the ” person up north” has to say…
i love slamming immature people.
no wait.
damn~
did i just confirm my attendance at that school where them kids hang out in numbers to slam others?
heh*

Kids will be kids.
the avenue they find nowadays are disturbing..
no wait.. i do that too.. DAMN~

as much as i hate some of the stuff some bloggers write… however immature their statments are..
its hilarious lah~
its like when we were kids and hang out and gossip abt that new kid with that weird accent..
a channel of release…
I’ve yet read enough of them blogs that i dont like thou..

no wait
i dont like them. so i stop reading them
heh*
well said caleb…

can i bootlick you now ? * silly grin*

I know a few bloggers I don’t like for example on livejournal, cause it’s such a teenie-american-bitchy-drama area. Still I read there blogs just to upset myself ! There is no logic in this. But yeah, if you want to have fun blogging, no use getting into arguments.

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Bravo on the EVERY thing u said! The blogsphere of late has become a real bitchy war zone than anything else. In fact, the bitching in the blogsphere seems more ferocious than reality.

Isn’t blogging for fun? No?

And…to those still fanning the fire, GROW UP!

Just some additional thoughts to ponder about:

The idea of having a ton of hits on your blog…
1. boosts your self-esteem (ego)
2. makes the public think you must be a good read

Unfortunately these are common misconceptions as Cowboy indicated (cept boosting ego, I could use that!). Some of the “popular” blogs are only filled with undesired attention in the form of useless comments. While we can simply say “don’t read it”, an uninformed web surfer might think that all blogs are crap based on the “popular” ones he or she see.

I’m saying this because I have met one or two persons who think that blogging is a waste of time as it is only for egocentric people to publicize their lives. I explain to them from a social standpoint that blogs simply are “enabler technologies” which allow for a variety of uses, most popularly, but not restricted to, online personal journals. Some people write constructively on a specific theme, while other bloggers focus entirely on their personal lives. Like Gump said, life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you’re gonna get… (wait a sec, I know what I’m getting in a box of chocolates actually) :P

Do you think the effects of terribly “popular” blogs might affect the way people think? If so, what do you think can be done (e.g. blog education) ?

In life, one must make choices. And I choose not to read Xiaxue.

little-wonder.net is a much better read.

Well. No mentioning of names here… But I have come across many an immature TEENAGER (yes, alot of them angsty and people-hating), slamming people.

Slamming the person who sat beside them on the bus (for what?!), slamming the girls in the school (bitching about all of their sexual conquests, AS IF you know the truth), slamming the friend who said somethng stupid, slamming the blogger who slammed her friend, slamming the blogger who seem to have much more readers than them, slamming the auntie who wash the toilet, even slamming the little green men peeking at her shower…

The list can go on. And on. And one childish act brings about another, and we have a flame that will burn reputation, identity and even self-esteem.
Anything that gets on its way…

And let’s not even mention the followers.
Oh please. -_________-

I agree with you. I just don’t get why people are so mean in the first place. Maybe it’s because in cyberspace, people think they can get away with it.

The blogosphere is almost a reflection of society so all the bitching and the flaming will continue, especially when there is no regulation in blogs unlike what people can actually say in real life.

And in tune with why some blogs are so popular –

1)sex sells
2)death sells
3)conflict sells

It is also no wonder how mediocre writings can get rave reviews if the writer is consider part of a beautiful crowd.

Hey ! Doesn;t all that sound just like TV ??????????

Every blog is like TV stations fighting for viewership and most of the time, stations with the most sex and controvesy programs win ?

Nice new skin you have here, will not get into this stuff, coz I have other things to worry about right now…

actually.. i prefer the old skin..

Brilliant post. *Salutes*

Conflicts are inevitable. Let’s just learn how to deal with it ;)

I agree with you. I never revisit blogs parading hate-o-rama. Love your linkoramas btw.

I don’t know, but this post has the word “irony” stamped all over it.

LOL.. seth nice one there…. it does have a certain irony to it…
[bootlick]
but this slamming is hardly as vicious as the others out there.
[/bootlick]

i agree that the blogosphere is a reflection of the real world in absence of OB markers, where speech is unadulterated. With freedom comes responsibility, however not everybody subscribes to this, myself included.

Nabeh, my blog no good meh? High traffic means good ok!

[...]

Cowboy Caleb has an important post regarding blogs, and the “illness fast spreading in blogosphere”.

[...]

Sorry, has this anything to do with the gahmen’s take on the people’s maturity?

hating takes up a lot of energy, so does that mean these bloggers have excess of that? energy will be there, so we got to think abt how to channel that.

nobody wins in a war. nobody.

the art of flame is a forgotten art. there are etiquettes to good flaming. but nowadays, u see flames which threaten to destroy reputation, identity and even self-esteem (from barffie above). See when the first lawsuit brought against a blogger comes about. you obviously can’t run when that happens. will that teach bloggers to be responsible bloggers, aka think before they shoot their mouth?

I hate this kind of post, it makes me puke. Why are you hatin’ on the hatahz! Don’t be a Hatah Hatah, man!

Peace out.

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this post. Just the other day, I was commenting to a friend about how “depressing” the situation was - to see flame wars just about everywhere. To the ones who feel otherwise: I suppose the point of this post is not to encourage a sterile, mono-colour environment, but to learn how to oppose opinions, if you do, in a manner befitting your years.

how abt love posts?

mish-ter blaun, WO AI NI!!!

think this is jus a passing phase. like all things internet, when it first come up the take-up rate is slow, then it shoots up and everyone starts to do it. then the bickering starts when people try to one-up each other…after a while, people will find that its totally bo-liao to do that and things will simmer down again…

Excellent post - not boring at all.

Very well said. If I hate the blogger, I will just ignore the blog. Why add to the traffic? Haha, and somehow I found the pottery comment amusing…

It’s all about gaining traffic and popularity. After all how else are you to gain popularity overnight if you don’t slam someone. We all know how certain bloggers have become popular precisely because of that (not mb and miyagi as they are angels). usually i just visit once to see what the hype is all about and never contribute to their bandwidth again.

Hmm, interesting. Blogging to many people is really an outlet to bitch, as you might have mentioned, and really a mere reflection of that CURRENT state of mind but not a representation of the whole person. I think that for most people, (for example myself) blogging allows them to have this connection with friends that are not on the same island, or planet, and to share photos, (no matter how badly taken) and to share that moment in the time that they need just to pour something out to friends, who may not be able to share a cup of coffee in the same cafe, on the same island. It’s a shame how the expression of a very personal experience has been taken really personally by strangers, and thus been attacked ruthlessly, just because the blogger has poor command of say, the language, or who fail to show that he/she is mentally unchallenged.

Beaut.

For some reason, blogging has become synonymous to flat-out bitchin’ for many.. of course, if my dissing someone would assure traffic..

What?! I was KIDDING!

Seriously though, this really has become something to worry about. The bloom in singaporean bloggers is soomething that was just recently commended, but do we really want a local blog community filled with back-biting and such?

Wah sey… mb is now a rapper dude…

Yo yo yo… Wasssup mah brah dahhh…

Anyways, I think virtual world is a place for you to write what you wana write, display yourself as whom you deem please. If you feel like being depicted as an asshole, of course you will get many hate comments/mails from others..

I think it’s the same as buying/reading books. There’s so much damn material out there.. we cant just read everything. Some books are good. Some books are trash. What do we do? We read whatever we want, or want to believe in, or will benefit us, in terms of positive/negative examples.

I think that was a fantastic bloody post and thankyouverymuch for timing out to do write it!

Boy, this post sucks! :)

Seriously, flame wars and hating are some of the saddest behaviours on the Net.

eh, knn, pottery very sexxxxy one okay! not for channelling negative energy okaaayyy, if negative energy, the pot will look like sai one okaaayy…

(that’s becasue next time in future i wann to take up pottery one ok! waht negative energy? bionic power lah)

Wah, philosophy of blogging.

Some people diss others just to boost readership, but a more neglected problem, I feel, is that when criticism is justified many bloggers tend not to dish it out. What to do? Cannot anger people. Ah well, the trickiness of repercussions.

Oh, and try having alternate CSS page styles!

this comment box is really tiny…

An excellent piece, I must say.

The article and the comments run somewhere along the crux of my next piece but alas you beat me to it.

Note to self: Need to stay sober. Damn.

My view is that there is no such thing as a bad blog, just one that don’t go down with you too well. For some blog that you totally hate, somewhere, someone else will be embracing it.

It’s a public domain, anybody and everybody has an equal right to be there. Even if the author(s) appear to be si beh immature. My only issue is against those who scribble nasty comments on other people’s blog that serves no constructive purpose.

Other than that, I say let them be.

Don’t go there, if you don’t like it.

The internet always spawns flame wars. If you throw children into a room, lock them up and give them no laws, they`ll slaughter each other. The Internet has no laws, so bloggers do the online equivalant.
Bummer.

I realised some time ago, that blogging will NOT affect our real conditions of existence for the foreseeable future, and thus we shouldn’t take it too seriously.
For the time being, it looks to be something which has no real consequence at all. (unless one makes money out of it, forges real-life friendships, or needs it for catharsis)
Call me practical/cynical, but that’s partly the reason I stopped blogging.

It’s only the Internet, guys. Lighten up.
Stopping the hate on the Internet will do nothing to attenuate the hate and prejudice that is inherent in all human beings. Ultimately, a futile endeavour.

lol reading your article reminds me of this person http://under9.blogspot.com

Very well said. I guess when there is no real-life interaction, we get bolder to the point of letting the ugly side show. Live and let live - that is what we all should practice, whether in real life or in cyberspace. It does not take much to be kind to others but it takes and exhausts a lot of energy to carry a grudge.

Hi there! Peter refer me to this blog.

I hope i am allowed to cintribute my duapuhsen.

I m not siding anyone, i m lurking at this at this as an outsider. But isnt you doing exactly what you asked our fellow bloggers not to do ?

1.Making snide remarks on blogs that do not belong to you - thats what u r doing in this entry :)

3.Writing long rants about how much another blogger sucks - I thin you are doing this too in this entry.

i would like to share a quote “pot calling kettle back” ?

Cheers!

Wingz, how your #1 suddenly jumps to #3 is beyond me man. AHahaHAHa. Where’s the #2?

Anyway, I do have comments on this article but I should better keep them to myself. Well written btw.