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Cowboy Caleb recommends 
Movie Review: ‘Man On Fire’
I bought this vcd for 5 bucks from a pirate who approached me at a restaurant while I was having my dinner. So yesterday afternoon, me and my dad decided to watch it while my mom (who hates violent movies) had her afternoon nap. It was so good that we decided to let my brother wait an hour at the church before we went to pick him up because we wanted to watch the entire movie.
If you have a lot of pent-up frustration inside you and have a wang, this movie is for you. It’s a very simple movie - revenge, violence and anal explosions.
First we have Chrissy (Denzel Washington) who plays an alcoholic washed up ex-soldier who ends up in mexico city as a bodyguard to a little girl (the same kid who played the alien in ‘Taken’).
1. The kid makes him happy and befriends him.
2. The kid gets kidnapped
3. The ransom money gets stolen. Kid gets killed by kidnappers.
4. Denzel Washington is a very very pissed off man. Buys a shitload of weapons of mass destruction
5. Inflicts righteous brutal vengence in creative ways upon each of the kidnappers one by one
6. Downright indestructible. Able to survice multiple chest wounds inflicted by firearms.
The first hour is filled with brady-bunch type kid gets to know adult scenes. The second half is filled with intense violence.
My favourite scene is where a nun asks Denzel Washington, “Do you see the hand of god in your work, Mr Chris?”.
And another is when Denzel says, “Those man have an appointment with god, it’s my job to make sure they keep it” just before he uses a rocket launcher on an armored car.
Kick ass. The movie got lousy reviews from most sources, but hell I liked it. Maybe reviewers prefer stuff like ‘Harry Potter’.