Cowboy Caleb the liberal arts, grown-up stuff & random mischief

Surnames

Disclaimer: This post only applies to women of chinese descent

Why do married women refuse to take their husband’s surname? Is it not clear that when a chinese woman marries a chinese man, the proper term is “to marry into your husband’s family”? If you were Miss Lee and you met, fell in love and married Mr Chong then you should now be Mrs Chong.

Sadly that is not the case. Yesterday I perchanced upon this utterly vile woman who declared upon her name card that she was (Mrs) Lee-Chong Sook Mei. WTF? Lee-Chong?

I might understand if Miss Lee had married Mr Jones, because Mrs Jones Sook Mei sounds rather silly therefore Mrs Lee-Jones Sook Mei is more acceptable.

But Lee-Chong is definitely a declaration of femenine independance, poseur-ship and downright bitchiness.

You’re supposed to TAKE YOUR HUSBAND’S FAMILY NAME you silly silly bitch!

mmm… ok … i’m fine with that… i wouldn’t want to be mrs lee-khoo or toh-khoo or tan-khoo … sounds terrible.

but wat if she is the only child and the only descendant of that Lee family? She has the duty to continue with the lineage, kan? tak kan (i m assuming u understand malay ;-)) her family’s lineage just end there?

minishorts > haha the wordplay possibilities on your surname are rathe unfortunate!

Parallel Gurl > Only men can carry on the family name, that’s why chinese families keep on trying to have sons…

Will have to agree and disagree with you there. I agree that joint surnames can be pretty stupid. But I find that it’s mostly Chinese women who marry foreigners who have a tendency to do this. Anyway, it is so much easier to call yourself “Ms Lee” than “Mrs Lee-Chong”. But I find that can’t really fault them there because if you have two prominent people who are married to each other, you’d still want people to remember who you are, and in some way (I being someone who is quite indignant of tradition in this regard) think that it signifies that both individuals in the marriage are on equal footing. But I guess if a person is a “Miss Soh” and marries a “Mr Tong”, “Soh-Tong” would not be such a fab idea.

Strangely there arent any men who take on their wives family name.

why does this apply only for women of chinese descent (I know nothing about names, surnames etc. for chinese) ? Generally I wouldn’t change my name. Even though my fave cheesy pick up line goes “It’s time to change your name into mine, baby”.

Because the surname (or family name) follows only men. Women change their name (although legal avenues are not required) to their husband’s family name, as they are leaving their family and joining their husband’s family. That’s why if a family has no sons, then their family name dies out.

It’s not strange to see chinese families with 5 daughters(or more) and the youngest child is a son. Most mother-in-laws insist that they have a grandson to carry on the family name.

a few of my teachers have dual surnames. It’s weird because sometimes I don’t know to address them. E.g. Mrs Chong-Lee. So it’s Mrs Chong or Mrs Lee? Mm..

Evie > Mrs Yaya Papaya

I dun think I want to take my bf’s surname when I marry him. Coz it triggers the image of “po chai yun”…

Man take their wife’s family surname only if they marry into the family lor.